the hospital stay.

 

i am so far behind.
but i am determined to get caught up.

going through pictures tonight brought so much emotion back to my heart. going into labor, feeling contractions and giving birth is hard work. so worth it, but hard work. i am so glad we were able to  capture so many pictures so it would be easier for me to remember such an important day. sometimes i feel like bagging the blog and then i look back at posts of the past and love reading how i felt at different times in my life.

labor. delivery. seeing my boy for the first time.
j was such a great support during my long labor, love him. here are just a few pictures i maybe should have added to my last post.

walking the halls to help with progressing!

 

epidural please!

 

don't i look lovely? how do girls look so pretty while in labor? even after the epidural i still hated the way i was feeling! don't get me wrong i would never not get and epidural, but its

not like i felt good.

and he is here! i wish there was a way a mama could

describe the love for her child. these pictures make me tear up a bit. i felt so happy seeing him for the first time. the only reason i wish maybe i had someone else in the room

with j and me would be to get a picture of my baby and me right when they put him on my chest for

the first time.

what is my face doing. it looks like i am mad or something. don't worry i am not! this is

me and my beckett after the nicu team cleared his breathing. we

were analyzing each other!

oh love his face!

 

once beckett was born, we stayed in l & d for the next hour or so and then they moved us up to our room. most of our stay was filled with visitors and thanks to my parents some yummy food! i wouldn't say i loved the hospital but it was nice to have nothing else on my mind other then my sweet new baby and jordan. no house work or yard work or dog work. i didn't love that the nurse on duty came in so often during the night or that on the recovery floor nurses weren't as nice as my fav. nurse laura on the l & d floor or that poor jordan had to sleep on a chair. we decided to keep beckett with us 24 hours instead of letting him go to the nursery and i am glad we did!

we loved loved all of our visitors. i was no good at taking pictures of all of them. so sad.


 mr. b one night. i loved having him with us.


beckett's first bath.
i still am bitter about this.
so... beckett came out pretty covered in gunk. like most new babies! he needed a bath. i think i asked when he could have one 20 minutes after he cam out, that was the first time the nurse told me as soon as we get upstairs. when we were upstairs i asked again. and again. and again. the first nurse told me it was shift change so when the next nurse gets settled. then that nurse told me things were crazy. so i kept asking and finally around 10pm we got to go to the nursery and bathe him. jordan, despite being a little afraid, did such a wonderful job. the only thing that came out of waiting so long was that my legs weren't numb anymore so i got to go too!





most nights i didn't get much sleep. between the nurses and feeding b there wasn't much time for sleep. inbetween those, it seemed to be the only time i had with my own thoughts. i couldn't believe this baby was mine, I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the "i made this baby" thing. it wasn't me and jordan anymore. it was the 3 of us and my heart was and still is loving the idea of our little family. i wish i could put into words the way beckett made me feel the day he was born, a feeling i know will be met by nothing else.



at about 20 weeks i had a dream that we named our baby luis. my dad and brother's middle name. jordan didn't love it so i thought maybe we could use it as a middle name. with each of our favorite names we decided on a middle name. with beckett it was luis. like i have said before the second i saw beckett he was beckett luis. well, sometime during our time at the hospital i noticed becks had a little hole in his ear just like my dad. it was like he was always meant to be a luis!!




the day we were going home. wednesday august 29th.
we woke up early so that beckett could get a little sponge bath in before all the days events. one nurse came to do a hearing test. one to prick his heal to check his billirubin levels. and a dr. to circumcise him. hard day for mr. b. i made jordan go with beckett to get circumcised. while they were gone a nurse came in to tell me that his billi levels were high and we needed make a follow up appointment with our pediatrician. i was not too happy about this. blame the hormones. then, j comes back with my out of it baby and tells me that they found a cyst on beckett's penis. i. lost. it! how could this be happening to my brand new baby. i couldn't stop crying. again, hormones. they told us to follow up with his pediatrician, it might go away or it might require further attention. i couldn't even think rational about this, i was a wreck. turns out 2 days later the cyst was gone. but still. after me and beckett were cleared we were off! we were nervous wrecks driving home. we didn't even take the freeway!